IFS Therapy
in Durham, NC
Internal Family Systems therapy can help with self-criticism, feeling overwhelmed, and trauma
You may be here because you…
Struggle with self-criticism & shame
Feel stuck in the same emotional patterns
Tried logic-based talk therapy and it hasn’t worked
What Can IFS Therapy Help With?
What If You could Understand the Parts of You That Are Struggling?
You may find yourself…
Being highly self-critical
Repeating patterns you wish you could change
Feeling torn between different wants and needs
Knowing what you “should” do, but not doing it
Compulsively seeking relief, even when it causes problems to build up
Getting triggered
Reacting ways you’re not proud of
Feeling disconnected from yourself
IFS offers a different way of understanding yourself
What Is IFS?
When you hear about “healing trauma, developing self-compassion, or feeling more connected to yourself,” it's natural to wonder: How do I actually do that?
How do we work with the parts of ourselves that feel destructive, reactive, critical, avoidant, or ashamed? What do we do when we understand intellectually how we'd like to behave, but still find ourselves reacting rather than responding?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a different way of working through these inner conflicts. Rather than viewing difficult thoughts, emotions, and behaviors as evidence that something is wrong with you, IFS understands them as expressions of different parts of you, each with its own perspective, emotions, and important role in your life.
The goal isn't to get rid of the parts of yourself you don't like, it’s to work with them differently and see that there are actually no bad parts of you.
Your mind is complex and multifaceted
IFS is based on the idea that our minds contain different parts. All these parts want what’s best for your survival and well-being, but the way they go about it can be completely different and even lead to conflict. For example, one part of you may be highly responsible and organized, while another wants to let go and have fun. One part may desperately want connection while another wants to protect you by keeping people at a distance.
In IFS, these aren't contradictions that need to be eliminated. They're parts of a larger internal system. It’s like playing on a team where everyone wants the team to win, but each player has a different view of what the next best play is.
Apart from these different parts is what IFS calls the Self. The Self is the core of who you are beyond any particular role, reaction, or protective strategy. Consider the Self like a coach who can see the whole field and has the wisdom to guide each player.
IFS describes the Self as naturally characterized by qualities such as curiosity, compassion, calm, courage, creativity, clarity, connection, and confidence. IFS works from the premise that these 8C’s are qualities that are already within you, even when difficult emotions or protective parts make them hard to access.
What is an IFS Session Like?
Walking into any new session can feel uncertain. Here’s an honest picture of what IFS actually looks and feels like, so you can begin feeling grounded instead of guessing.
Early sessions are focused on you and the therapist getting to know each other, talking about what brings you into therapy, and building trust and comfort as the foundation of your work together. This is the groundwork for any style of therapy.
Then, you’ll start learning about the basics of IFS: how your mind is made of different “parts,” each with their own feelings, perspectives, and ways of trying to protect you. Think of a time when you’ve felt torn about something. A part of you wanted one thing, and another part wanted something else. That’s the everyday version of what IFS works with.
There’s no pressure to “get this right.” Your therapist will guide you to learning how to notice and listen to your parts. It’s a skill that builds over time, and we’ll go at whatever pace feels right to you.
What You Do
Get curious. Notice what a memory or feeling brings up in your body and thoughts, and relate to it almost like a person. Ask it what it wants for you or what it’s afraid of, and just listen for an answer. Some parts may not be ready to be seen, and that’s welcome too.
It may seem counterintuitive, but forcing or rushing parts tends to stall progress. The more you can lean into patience, kindness and curiosity, the faster the healing happens.
What Your Therapist Does
An IFS therapist is a guide, not a fixer. They can’t tell you what your parts mean or hand you solutions. They will help you slow down, ask good questions, and offer direction if you get stuck. But the insight comes from you.
Your therapist will also be there to help you regulate if things get to be too much, and help keep the sessions safely within your tolerance.
Nothing is done to you in IFS. It’s done with you, and only at the pace of the slowest part.
What if IFS isn't right for me?
IFS can be a meaningful approach for many people, but no single therapy is right for everyone. Our therapists take the time to understand your history, needs, goals, and what you're experiencing now before deciding how to approach your work together.
We also recognize that therapy isn't always a straight line. You may benefit from IFS, from another therapeutic approach, or from a combination of modalities. Your therapist can adjust the pace, structure, and approach of therapy as your needs evolve.
Our goal isn't to fit you into a particular therapy. It's to find the approach that best supports you. And if you've had a difficult or unhelpful experience with therapy in the past, you don't have to assume that it means therapy can't work for you. We can start where you are and work together to find a way forward.
Tamarasa Therapy’s Approach to IFS
Expertise gives therapy its foundation. Collaboration makes it responsive. Compassion makes it human.
Grounded in Evidence
Our therapists practice IFS with care and fidelity to the model. We have post-graduate training from experts in the field and continuously stay on top of the latest research for best practices. We use IFS principles to guide the way we understand and work with you.
Responsive to You
We will never force you into a particular therapeutic approach. We pay attention to what’s helping, what’s not, and what you need as your work evolves. Sometimes that means adapting IFS; sometimes it means using another approach entirely.
Collaborative by Design
We don’t practice in isolation. We regularly consult with our colleagues and participate in supervision. This gives our clinicians opportunities to think deeply about their work, learn from one another, and remain accountable to high standards of care.
What Trauma-Informed Care Means to Us
For us, being trauma-informed isn't simply about understanding trauma. It's about how we practice.
We don't believe therapy should require you to override your own boundaries, push through experiences you're not ready for, or continue with an approach simply because it's the therapist's preferred modality. We pay attention to your responses, collaborate with you about the direction of therapy, and adjust our approach when something isn't helping.
You are not here to fit yourself into a therapy. The therapy should be responsive to you.
Meet our IFS Therapists
Our therapists bring different specialties, personalities, and perspectives to their work. Explore their profiles to learn more about their approach and find someone who feels like the right person to begin with.
Common Questions About IFS
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Most people show positive responses to IFS, but it may be especially helpful if you…
Want to understand why you respond the way you do
Feel caught between conflicting parts of yourself
Are tired of fighting with yourself
Want to develop greater self-compassion
Have tried traditional talk therapy but want something different
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More than anything, we want to make sure the therapist is someone you feel safe being open, honest and vulnerable with. Having a consultation call is a great way to see if the therapist is the one you want to work with.
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Yes we do!
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No, you do not have to describe your traumatic experiences in detail for IFS to be effective.
You are always in control of what you share. Your therapist will work with you without pushing you to disclose more than you’re ready to discuss.
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You’ll experience more compassion towards yourself. And you’ll notice real-life changes in your awareness, how you feel and how you react.
The Therapy Process: What to Expect
Starting therapy is a big step. Here’s what you can expect as you begin your work with us.
Schedule your free consultation
Reach out to us to share what you’re looking for. Click the “Get Started” button to take the first step to getting support
Meet with your therapist
Talk about what’s bringing you to therapy, what you’ve been experiencing, and what you hope to change
Create a plan together
Your therapist will work with you to find an approach tailored to your needs, goals and pace.
Begin your work
Build insight, develop skills and create meaningful change with ongoing support
Ready to Explore What’s Possible with IFS?
You don't have to know exactly what you need before reaching out. We're here to help you find a therapist and approach that feel right for where you are.
You don't need to have the perfect words.
You don't need to know exactly where to start.
You only need to take the next step.
Schedule a free consultation today.
How to Get Started
Ready to meet with a therapist?
Click the button below to Schedule an Appointment or Free 20 Minute Consultation online
Do you have any questions or need help finding a therapist?
Fill out the contact form below. We will respond within 24 hours.
We are conveniently located at
6 Consultant Pl. Ste 100B, Durham, NC 27707
In-person visits by appointment only.