Summer Burnout
Caregiver Burnout: Summer Edition
You’re not crazy—you’re a knot.
We don’t talk nearly enough about caregiver mental health—especially in summer. Our society runs on the unpaid (or wildly underpaid) labor of caregivers, and this time of year is a perfect storm of expectations, exhaustion, and emotional depletion.
It’s July 57th. You’re tired. (I’m tired.) The kids are bored. The house is chaos. You’ve still got a solid month (or more!) of being your children’s entertainment director, conflict negotiator, snack dispenser, and tech support. And let’s be honest—summer parenting is extra. There’s no eight-hour school-day buffer from the endless loop of Skibidi nonsense or Minecraft meltdowns. You’re worried about screen time, online safety, and the devices you can't fully set parental controls on (I’m looking at you, school computers). My kids hacked the school’s Minecraft firewall, by the way. Epic.
You think (or snap) “JUST GO OUTSIDE,” or “If I’d said that to my mom, I’d be tasting soap by now.” Sound familiar? Good. You’re not alone.
The Good News/Bad News
Let’s start with the bad news: The problem isn’t your kids, your spouse (or lack thereof), the weather, or the length of summer break. It’s burnout. And it’s real.
The World Health Organization defines burnout as a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed—characterized by exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced effectiveness (WHO, 2019). Caregiver burnout is particularly insidious because the “workplace” is your life. There’s no off switch, and the pressure never lets up.
Your hair is on fire. Your brain’s fried. Everyone’s looking to you to solve everything—but you’re tangled in a massive knot.
Now for the good news: We’re working on it. Researchers, mental health professionals, and burnout survivors are paying attention—and sharing tools. People like Emily and Amelia Nagoski, authors of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, offer tangible, science-backed strategies to manage and recover from burnout. It’s not light reading, but it's good and validating.
Even better? There is a way out of the knot; unfortunately, you can’t yank it into untangling.
Untangling the Knot
I teach fiber arts, so I know a thing or two about knots. And here's the truth: once you believe a knot is impossible to untangle, you lose the curiosity and patience you need to actually unravel it. When you yank? You tighten it. You break things.
Burnout is like that. It feels impossible, and the more you try to power through, the more tangled it becomes. If you approach it with attention, time, and belief, though, it starts to come undone. You can follow the paths down and gently unravel.
Completing your stress cycle (a concept the Nagoski sisters explore in-depth) is one way to start. That means allowing your body and brain to process and release stress—through movement, creative expression, connection, or even a good cry. It might sound simple, but it's the foundation of healing.
Eating the Elephant
Bear with me for one (or two!) more metaphors. When I talk to people about burnout, I often ask them: “How do you eat an elephant?” They always answer one of a few ways.
“Elephants are endangered! You CANNOT eat one!”
“Wait, aren’t you vegan? You won’t eat one…right?”
“Are you trying to teach me something? This is dumb.”
Bonus Reaction: “I’d eat an elephant!”
Valid concerns. Yes, elephants are endangered. No, I wouldn’t eat one. Yes, I have a point, and I’m not actually suggesting we eat elephants. This gets people thinking. We’re curious. We like puzzles. How would you do it?
The point? There’s only one way to tackle something that feels impossibly big:
One. Bite. At. A. Time.
Cue the groans. I know. That advice is deeply unsatisfying when what you want is a magic wand, a shrink ray, or at least a good therapist with openings before October (Hey! I know one of those!).
Slow, sustainable progress is still progress. If you can take just 1% of your energy today and redirect it toward your own care? That’s enough to start.
The Summer Self-Care Dilemma
Summer self-care is some of the hardest to sustain. You’ve still got your entire life to manage, but now you have to do it while being bossed around by a 10-year-old who thinks you’re lazy and a toddler who steals your snacks.
Getting professional help is a non-starter for many people. According to Mental Health America’s 2024 data, more than 60% of adults with a mental illness don’t receive treatment, often due to cost, time, or access issues (MHA, 2024). Caregivers—especially women and single parents—face even more barriers.
That’s why tiny goals matter. A 1% shift. A phone call. A 10-minute walk. A boundary. A text to a friend. That’s how the knot begins to loosen.
Final Thoughts (and a Spoon)
The only way forward is one step at a time. If you’ve read this far, you must be on board with my metaphors, so I’ve got one more. The airlines are right. As annoying as it is to hear “Put your mask on before assisting others,” they’re right. AND. What if you can’t find your mask? What if it’s broken? Sometimes, you have to borrow someone else’s air. That’s what community is for.
Hi. I’m Joanna. I’m here with your borrowed air. Or maybe your elephant spoon. I brought both—just in case. We’ll figure out what you need when we meet.
Until then:
Take the smallest step. It could be a 5-minute break to touch grass or a 20-minute discovery call with me!
Trust that the knot can loosen.
Your burnout doesn’t make you broken.
It makes you human, and you’re not alone.
Further Reading & Resources:
Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2019). Burnout: The secret to unlocking the stress cycle. Ballantine Books.
Mental Health America. (2024). The state of mental health in America 2024. https://mhanational.org/issues/2024/mental-health-america
World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an "occupational phenomenon": International classification of diseases. https://www.who.int/mental_health/evidence/burn-out/en/
