Things I Wish I Had Known as a Young Adult
Hi there! I’m Kaitlyn – one of the therapists here at Tamarasa Therapy and someone who has walked through their own share of trying to “figure it out”. I’m here to offer support, gently tell you that no one actually has young adulthood all figured out & to let you know you’re not alone along the way because I sure wish I had known these things as a college student & young adult.
Let’s be honest, whether you’ve already passed young adulthood or are in the midst of your 20s, there are probably many things you wish you had known, too. Maybe you thought you’d have everything figured out by now. Or maybe it feels like everyone around you seems to be doing better than you. Maybe life just feels harder than it should. Truthfully, being a young adult is hard. There’s the pressure of leaving home, relationships, money, and future plans. (If that sounds all too familiar, click here – I’ve been there before too!)
Your young adulthood isn’t just about building your life - it’s about unlearning a lot of what you thought life would be like.
Let me be clear, this blog isn’t about how to “fix yourself”. It’s not about pressure to be “normal”. It’s about sharing things that might help you feel less alone and better grounded, no matter what stage of life you’re in right now. Because the good news is, you don’t have to handle it alone. Allow yourself to be unique right where you are – that’s a strength.
Let’s talk about those things you wish you had known & some of those shared universal feelings as young adults:
1.Not All Paths are Linear- It’s Okay
Maybe you had this “perfect” plan for your life and it hasn’t gone one thing like you thought. Or maybe you didn’t even know where to start. That’s okay! Life isn’t always linear – in fact it rarely ever is.
Social media may have even caused you to compare your life to someone else, leaving you feeling anxious. Or you might not be a social media person, but you still feel that outside pressure. What if we reframe that idea that our path should be linear? There’s no universal timeline and exploring your options is still progress.
2.You Don’t Have to be the Strong One
Remember my blog about being the strong one? Sometimes we stay busy so we don’t have to admit we’re tired of being the strong one. You might really be anxious about decisions coming up, school, your future career, relationships, or something else entirely.
Just because you can handle hard things, doesn’t mean you should always have to, especially not alone. You can choose support. At Tamarasa Therapy, our therapists are here for you. Being the strong one ALL the time can lead to burnout.
3.Take Care of Yourself First
I’m here to tell you that you won’t always feel so uncertain. In your early 20s your prefrontal cortex hasn't fully developed. This part of our brain helps us manage our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors to allow us to better problem solve and function overall– it helps make us who we are, essentially. It typically fully develops in our mid-to-late 20s.
So, take care of yourself during this time – Be gentle. Instead of thinking you should be doing more, try thinking about how your biology could be affecting you. More clarity will come. In the meantime, be kind, seek support, and allow yourself to rest. That brings me to my next point…
4.You Have to Rest
Did you know sleep directly affects how we think, feel, and handle stress? Yet, it’s often one of the first things we sacrifice, especially in our fast-paced, productivity culture. Prioritizing sleep is not selfish or a sign of weakness–it is an essential act of self-care.
I know it feels like you have deadlines to meet, people to talk to, or maybe it’s simply that you have a favorite show to binge-watch. However, sleep is more important than you think! Your mind depends on it.
5.Waves of Emotions are Normal
Emotions come and go in waves; it’s completely normal. Some days you may feel overwhelmed by emotions and uncertain, while other days you feel confident and connected. Experiencing waves of emotions is part of being human.
Next time you experience those waves, try allowing yourself to feel them. Don’t be so hard on yourself, and don’t judge your own feelings. Even the heaviest emotion will pass; none of them are permanent – and emotions don’t happen in a straight line. It’s kind of like how we talked about your life path earlier. And that’s totally okay.
6.You’re Not Alone
Sometimes it’s easy to believe that you’re the only one struggling, especially when it seems like everyone around you has it all figured out (spoiler alert: they don’t). The truth is, most people are navigating the same doubts, fears, and questions you are.
You aren’t behind, broken, or alone in how you feel. You’re human. We get it, we’ve been there, and we’re here for you at Tamarasa Therapy
At the end of the day, your young adulthood isn’t about having everything figured out. They’re about learning, growing, resting, feeling, and becoming who you want to be. Those moments you feel overwhelmed and unsure, do not define you – they are simply a part of your process of becoming. When you’re navigating the unknown, I hope you remember these things and know that it’s okay! You are allowed to take the break, ask for help, and make the change.
If you feel stuck with all of these thoughts and are unsure how to move forward, therapy can be a supportive place to start. You don’t have to navigate it all on your own. At Tamarasa Therapy, we’re here to meet you where you are with compassion, understanding, and care. When you’re ready, reaching out could help you feel less alone, better grounded, and more like your true, unique self again.
Our office is conveniently located in Durham and serves clients throughout the Triangle, including Chapel Hill, Raleigh, and surrounding communities. We offer both in person therapy in Durham and secure telehealth sessions across North Carolina, making it easier to get support even with a busy schedule.
